


Ocean Eyes

by Latios



Series: Mermaid au [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6746485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latios/pseuds/Latios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When meeting a human who gives him an offer he can't refuse, Sugawara is conflicted between exploring the human world and leaving Daichi to fulfill a distant dream of his.<br/>It doesn't help that Daichi terribly hates humans, and they're getting closer the longer he waits to discuss his problem. </p><p>{COMPANION FIC TO "SHORELINE"}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ocean Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries when I'm not quoting something from the fic itself rip

It’s on a cold night in pacific waters when they receive the news of Hayato Ikejiri’s death from a pod member from the lead hunting group. It’s no doubt the start of the blossom of hate in Daichi’s heart for the human species as a whole, having one of the most important people cut off from his life like that by them.

The chilly salt waters feel silent after the news is delivered, and even in the dark of night, under only pale lighting from moon on the waters--Suga can see the devastation, the pain, the fear, and the hatred moving through his face, across his eyes.

It’s not like they were related by blood--none of them were, certainly. But even without blood, those two had been the closest to a definition of _family_ in the entire pod. Sugawara has no words, and only the bubbles make noise now, floating from the pits in the sand.

When he finally gets Daichi to speak, it’s mumbling noises falling from his lips, whispers meant to sink into the abyss he was looking down when the crowd had left. But Suga can hear it.

“Shouldn’t have let him left…...so excited.....first hunting trip…” The words fade in and out on Daichi’s wrecked throat, sore from tears--but Sugawara gets the gist, and turns Daichi’s face to look at him for the first time that night.

“Don’t you start blaming yourself, Sawamura Daichi. This is not your fault in any way shape or form. It was _them_ , don’t you see? You had nothing to do with this.”

“If only I was there...I could’ve…” Daichi trails off, throat catching on choked sobs as he finally lets it all out in the form of tears. 

Though they can’t see tears underwater, Suga can see the contortion of grief on his best friend’s face--it’s not something he will easily forget in the years to come.

They’re far too young to be dealing with something like this.

“Look at me,” Suga hisses, catching Daichi’s glossed eyes. “You couldn’t have done a thing. They have weapons, more ground to cover, and enough men to take down two of us easily! You would have been taken, too.” He doesn’t want to really linger on that thought, but morbid images come to mind anyway, and his heart stutters sadly. He continues. “This was a terrible accident. Blame them--blame the humans for taking him away--don’t you dare blame yourself for this, Okay? We need you right now.” 

He doesn’t know how to encourage him to feel better, after something like this. If it _were_ Daichi this happened to, he’d no doubt break down like this as well, nothing but blame for himself. Do something he could possibly regret. The humans were too strong, and even if they _did_ retaliate, they would surely be killed. The history of their species said enough on that note.

He knows Daichi would blame himself for a tragedy, and when the news was given, he didn't let Daichi wander off alone. They’ve been together since birth--Daichi was predictably at their hiding spot, the one place they’d go to see each other or to be alone when they were upset. But now was not a time to be _alone_ of all things, and Suga knows he would take drastic action if left alone to his thoughts for too long.

But it would have been wiser to take another route than this--than to tell Daichi to direct his hate towards humans--it only led to more anger and suffering to feel such strong emotion all the time, he knew well. But being as young as he is, he doesn’t know what else to do to comfort his closest companion.

He pulls Daichi towards him, and feels the shaking wrack through Daichi’s body through his, and almost cries himself when he feels the knowing warmth of tears near his neck where Daichi’s face is pressed close, even if he can’t see them underwater.

He whispers his apologies to Daichi, holding him close until dawn.

~

They’re fourteen this year, and though age doesn’t mean much to a merman, they keep track, if only to tell others how long they’ve known each other.

It’s summer, and the water is crystal clear with the sun glaring through the water onto the seafloor like a blue mosaic, bright yellows and whites reflecting off the white sanded floor, where Suga lies suntanning.

He’s already fallen into a quiet, afternoon slumber a few times, the warm sand like a hot blanket under him, and the calming rays of sunshine lulling him to sleep with their patterns on the seafloor. The only reason he woke up was because of the wildlife, minnows swimming all too close and crabs pinching at his sides.

He plays avidly with a seashell he found tucked into the sand, flipping it around over until the hermit crab pokes out, and he smiles as he places it back down, watching it wander off.

Daichi almost gives him a heart attack when he suddenly appears, kicking sand up into his face with his tail, not so much as making a noise to alert Suga of his presence.

“Whoa!” Suga coughs, waving a hand in front of his face to clear the cloud of dust. “You aren’t the best at welcoming people, are you? You could have just hello--or you know, joined me.” He laughs at the end, but looks up to Daichi, who knowingly has a straight lipped expression and stern eyes.

“You aren’t supposed to be this close to the beach, Koushi!” Daichi scolds, tail flipping angrily. 

“Relax, would you? It’s a nice day out, and I’m deep enough in where small humans wouldn’t come to play.” He snorts. Pulls a flying lock of gray hair behind his eyes, even if he knows it won't stay for long, pulled by the waves. “I think I’d know if there was one nearby, Daichi. Have a little more faith.”

“You certainly didn’t sense _me_ ,” He argues.

Suga laughs. “You don’t make as much noise as a human would, you and I both know. You just wanted to scare me because you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset! I just want to leave.” He nervously checks their surroundings, as if to make a point.

Sugawara knows that, too. Daichi’s silly, always worrying--He’s used to people listening to his authority and loud voice, but probably trying to use that authority now only to convince Suga to stay in his sight out of worry alone. It’s cute.

Suga rolls his eyes. “You _are._ Was it because I wasn’t around all morning? Were you worried about me?” He smiles, teasing Daichi as he lightly smacks his tail against his.

Daichi colours, red like precious coral. “Of course I was!”

Suga feels a light thrumming in his chest, and sends Daichi with a playful smile. “Aw, you’re too sweet. Why don’t you just lie down with me? it’s nice outside today, you know.”

“Which is _why_ we shouldn't be here!” Daichi huffs, back to stern and boring. “There’s humans everywhere on days like today--we need to come out when it’s cloudy and stormy--that’s when it’s safe to collect material from the shallows.”

Suga shoots him a bland look. “Do you ever have fun?”

“Not if it’s unsafe.”

Suga rolls his eyes again. Why did he have to like the goody-two shoes? “Please just lie down, you’re stressing _me_ out with how much you’re panicking about this. Here, see--” He grabs Daichi’s wrist softly, and Daichi complies into being pulled, never being one to shake Suga off. He does groan though, as he flops down onto the earth’s surface, a puff of sand clouding around him as he sits.

“See? It’s nice out. Have a good time for once, and stop being bossy for like two seconds. Just breathe.”

Daichi frowns at Suga, but closes his eyes and inhales saltwater in a slow manner, features evening out.

It’s the closest he’ll get to getting Daichi to really _relax_ , but he really needed it sometimes. He overworked himself, and tried to hold everyone together and organise and plan from such a young age. He certainly knows he never would give himself the afternoon off--so Suga would have to force him, even if he had to tie him and leave him like that. 

Not that _that_ would help him relax, so maybe not.

A long moment passes with silence between them before Daichi speaks again.

“...Okay, I’ll admit, this is kind of nice.”

“Told you.”

They laugh for a while, enjoying the peace of the moment and taking comfort in each other, when Kiyoko finds them frolicking in the sand together and coughs to catch their attention.

Immediately, Daichi is stiff-straight and nowhere near Suga, fully alert and coughing to cover the high-pitched laughing Kiyoko probably heard. 

She doesn’t question them, or give any indication that she was bothered by their playing (she was impassive as ever), but Daichi was quickly gaining colors, and silently paying attention to a rock on the seafloor.

“What’s up, Kiyoko?” Suga beams, unbothered in the slightest by Daichi’s mortification from _having fun_. It’d be something to tease him about later, that’s for sure.

“We need to go hunting, Daichi.” She turns to Suga, blinking slowly, her lashes long and batting at her cheeks. “You can come too if you want, Suga. We could use another hunter today--Nishinoya being sick and all.”

Suga nods. “Sure!” 

“How come you listen to her so fast?” Daichi mumbles, annoyed.

“It’s hard to say no to Kiyoko,” He shrugs. “Or maybe it’s just because she’s actually nice to me, compared to someone else I know.” He snickers, and rushes away when Daichi starts to chase him.

It’s one of the nicer moments between them for a while.

~

He’s fifteen now, and just as terrible at listening to Daichi’s orders.

It’s fun though, being best friends with him, because this way he can bully Daichi into getting what he wants. Even if he’s trying to be tough on Suga, he can’t seem to say no to him. The odds might not be in his favour at first, but Daichi always caves when it’s about Sugawara. Eventually.

And he didn’t exactly _agree_ to letting Sugawara swim off on his own in the deeper parts of the ocean, where it was murky, endless blue for miles--but Suga could at least convince him he was _’totally safe the entire time’_ when he got back. Daichi might believe him, if he sugarcoats it and leaves out the fact that he already had to hide from a great white, and he’s only been swimming for about half an hour. Maybe nothing else would happen.

He had a goal to accomplish, and a measly shark or Daichi’s wrath wasn’t going to scare him away.

They were going to travel soon, to find a new place to live, if it got too much colder.  
Every few years they switched it up, changing locations to throw off humans and to keep themselves occupied. Things got tiring if they stayed the same for too long, and with a whole ocean to explore, They didn’t have to worry about how much they moved around.

This time, it was mostly just because of the season, and they’d be back next spring. But he knew Daichi liked this place, so he wanted to get him a gift. Simple as that.

Except it’s not like he can find something Daichi hasn’t already seen close to home, so going on the outskirts of their territory--where none of them go, even for hunting-- seems best for finding things.

He’s looking for a seashell, maybe a blue one or something sparkly, shimmering like pearls or even a dark polished black. Daichi used to have a necklace, a little clamshell hanging around his neck on a piece of kelp--and had recently misplaced it.

Suga wanders high and low, though he doesn't find many good material up by the surface, so he sticks to the shallower reef sand where the sunlight still hits.

He wasn’t a siren--he didn’t have perfect night-vision, and could only go so far into depths without becoming blind.

A sparkle of metal catches his eye amongst coral and wood and debris, and he realises with a lump in his chest he’s looking at a shipwreck, and quite a large one at that.

Plants and coral have grown into the rusty cracks, and if the ship was painted a color, it didn’t hold one anymore. It was half buried in the reef, sands filling the craters and holes in the bottom of the wreck, and stray boards were scattered along the seafloor, somewhat hiding the discovery.

He’s a little nervous--there’s definitely a lump in his throat as he touches the side of a _human ship_ for the first, and probably only time--but he feels like it would be a bad idea to turn around _now_ of all times. It’s not like humans were in there, anymore, so what was the harm?

After ripping off a few wedged out boards, he makes a hole in the ship's bottom big enough to swim into. With a breath of salty water, he inches inside, taking no mind of the angry octopus crawling out of the hole Suga just made in it’s most likely home.

 _Wow_ , is the only small word to come to mind when looking inside, and he mouths the words with his lips.

It’s plenty dark, and it’s not like he could see much before, but now he’s relying on a few cracks and tears in the floorboards to know what’s happening around him.

There’s a room--or, something that was a room at one point, now smashes with holes in the ‘walls’ beyond repair. There’s a desk with 2 missing legs, and he skims his hand along it, feeling the contorted wood under his fingertips.

There’s a metallic pole lying on its side, and shattered glass catching light just at the top of it, and he doesn’t really know what he’s seeing at first, not being very familiar with human contraptions, but he feels like it was useful for something, he just didn’t understand. He wanted to.

There’s nothing beautiful about the wreck--about the broken glass structure dangling from the middle of the roof--definitely sharp to the touch, but catching light in all the right ways--about the moldy boards and rusted metals, the seemingly useless objects scattered across the floor, rotting away in the ocean.

But to Sugawara, he wants to call it amazing.

Then, with all the curiosity of a five year old, he rips at the desk, pulling out the boxes therein, and emptying the contents out--which were mostly gunk, some sea slugs, and a frame of some sorts--and parchment strapped together, falling apart loosely a his fingertips.

He doesn't know what any of it is, but that doesn’t kill his interest in the slightest.

He stops looking around when he lifts a crate, and finds something shining--a necklace of steel lying in the sand, plastic beads broken and dirtied from years underwater.

That’s not the interesting part though--it’s the engraved metal centerpiece that captures his attention, and he scrapes the dirt off to the best of his ability. And along the side, he can clearly see a line where there isn’t mud crusted--an opening he could pry.

When he does manage to get the thing apart, he nearly thinks he broke it--but he’s a little breathless when he sees the inside. It’s a bit dirty, but it’s an image of two humans, grasping hands and smiling.

He doesn’t really have words, because what could he say? It’s the first time he’s seen humans as anything but monsters, after what they did to Hayato--what they did to the rest of them. The fear they invoked for fun, for riches, for status.

But how could a monster fake something like the love, the emotion he was clearly seeing for the two people in the photo? He never really thought about them with feelings, or like them in any way. To him, they’d always appeared in his mind as expressionless bodies of evil meant to be avoided. But in his defense, he’s only seen humans commit crimes and acts of murder and pain in his lifetime

And there was always the fact that there was bad merfolk, too--and then there were sirens, who murdered whatever living thing they could find for a days’ meal.

Had he been wrong all along, only looking at it from one side? It’s a weird thought, but he feels a bit breathless at the strange new idea.

He soon realizes that it’s dark outside of the ships’ opening--which means he wasted the day sitting around, looking at human artifacts and going through a small mid-life crises.

So much for getting Daichi a present today.

Instead, he heads back home for the night, and when Daichi asked where he was all day, he lies through his teeth, saying he was in the shallows, exploring reefs as usual.

Daichi scolds him, but it’s with a smile at the end, and maybe a bit tired--understanding that Suga’s just never going to listen to him.

But it’s ten times less worse than what Daichi would have said if he told him what he was _really_ doing.

~

Daichi, of course, finds the thing eventually, and holds it up to Suga when he sees him next. 

“Why do you have this?” He asks. Suga smiles.

“Funny story, so about a month ago I was exploring and found a shipwreck not far off from where we used to live. There was a whole bunch of stuff in there, but this was by far the coolest--”

“You went into a human ship?!” Daichi asks, eyes wide.

This is just about as well as he expected this to go.

Suga smiles softly. “If it helps, It was long abandoned. It blended in with the seafloor, actually.”

“It doesn’t help.” Daichi says, worry crossing his features. “What if there had been someone exploring it, and they saw you?”

“Relax,” Suga laughs. “You worry too much for a teenager.” He pats Dachi’s back, and the soft smile on his own lips seems to calm the tension in the other, if only a little. He sighs.

“One of us has to. Be careful if you do something like that again, okay?” He says the end quietly, almost like a secret. Sugas about to reply with something silly to lighten the tension, but he knows all too well what Daichi really meant.

_Stay safe. I need you here._

He’s said the words before, but as Daichi got older, he tried to become less of a sap, and said other things instead to show his affection. _Be careful. Get a good sleep. Keep close._

To others, it might just sound like warnings and small orders from the pod leader, but the little things he says here and there speak volumes to Suga. He smiles warmly, and takes Daichi’s hand as they swim, sea butterflies dancing in his stomach. 

“I will.”

~

His curiosity for people on the surface doesn’t diminish, while Daichi’s hate steadily grew day by day. 

Suga was mad too, when Asahi had gotten cut on some leftover metal dropped to the bottom of the sea, and when Nishinoya had gotten tangled in a stray net on the reef. Or when Kiyoko had gotten caught on a fishing hook, leaving a nice, running scar up her arm which, gladly, faded quite nicely. That one had made Daichi livid, almost swimming up to break a hole in the bottom of the fisherman's’ boat.

He partly blamed himself, when Daichi cursed their names and loathed on the human species, since it was probably his fault to suggest targeting his aggression towards them when they were kids, to numb the pain--but it starts to worry him, the fury he sees in his eyes when he talks about humans. He wonders if he still thinks about seeking revenge for Hayato’s sake.

It’s not like he talks about Hayato anymore, anyway. That alone is worrying.

Suga bring it up one day, when they’re scanning the beach and looking for a soul, only seeing a toddler flop about on the sand happily, running toward his mother, quite a ways off.

Suga coos. Daichi scowls and dives back under.

“It was just a kid, Daichi,” Suga scolds lightly when he follows him under. “Are they that bad when they’re that young?” He thought babies were cute, but now he’s not so sure about mentioning that thought to Daichi.

“Yeah, and they grow up to be terrible, like their parents.”

“Daichi!” 

“ _What?_ ”

Suga frowns. “Is something wrong, Daichi?”

Daichi stops a few paces ahead of him, and shakes his head with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Suga. I can’t seem to find the charm in them that you do.” 

“They’re kind of like us, you know. Just with legs, and stuff. Less scales.” He tries to list more things off, but he’s never met a human himself--seen one up close. What were their biological differences? Was their skin slimy? Did they have webbing inbetween their fingers for swimming as well?

Daichi snorts. “They are _nothing_ like us, Suga.”

He feels like he’s treading on thin ice, but continues. “...We’ve killed people too, Dai. Not us particularly--but I’m just saying that not all of them are as terrible as you assume them to be. Probably.”

Daichi narrows his eyes at him. “Are you taking their side, Koushi?”

Suga’s eyes widen. “No!” _How has their conversation taken a turn like this?_ “ It’s a human baby, Daichi! You don’t need to be angry at everything that moves up there. They have lives, just like us.”

“They’re still not good.” Daichi mumbles, hands balled in tight fists at his side. Suga Looks on with a slight frown.

“Hey, stop brooding like that,” Suga sighs, swimming up to Daichi, instead of trailing behind him. He grabs Daichi’s hand, and that stops any anger in his face in less than a second. He looks over to Sugawara, eyebrows turned up in guilt. But his eyes linger on Suga’s hand in his, and he sighs.

“Sorry, I’ve been a bit bitter about the entire thing. I’ll try and stop.”

“You’re allowed to be bitter,” Suga says, after a moment. He places his free hand on Daichi’s cheek. “I just don’t want your entire opinion of them to be negative. You had a terrible experience with them, so I don’t blame you. But you can’t let it rule your life.”

“I won’t,” Daichi says, head tilting only slightly into that hand. Suga’s glad the cold water could repress any blush he would’ve had just now. 

“I’ll try harder. It’s admirable how you can see the beauty in everything, Suga. You’re great with this stuff. And with cheering me up.” He says with a light tone and smile, like he wasn’t just being really embarrassing. How did he do it? How dense was he? 

Suga’s pretty sure he _is_ blushing now, but luckily Daichi isn’t facing him anymore. “You got it.” Suga nods, smiling faintly. “I’ll always be here for you.”

Daichi tightens his grip on his hand with a grin, and they make their way home.

~

He’s snuck out again, since it’s a bright day outside. Daichi probably expects just as much, and is probably looking for him, so he goes a little farther than usual to avoid crossing paths, swimming all the way to an uninhibited island to rest in the shallows.

The coast is clear, from as far as he can tell, so he spends a few hours there, looking at the bubbles floating to the surface, the snails move along the rocks, and the minnows and colorful fish swimming around his body in front of him, only to dart off when he made a move.

When he’s ready to leave--or, when the sun was starting to set--he figures it would be for the best to head back before he gives Daichi a heart attack.

He quickly takes a peek above the surface, to see the sun fading behind the sea, and is startled when he hears something behind him, making him jump around for confirmation of what he feared.

There’s a human--an old one, picking white driftwood off the beach surface, making a pile nearby. Probably for a fire, or something. He’s not so sure, but he’s certainly collecting it and hoarding the stuff. It’s only when the man turns, that it halts Suga in his place.

The man looks familiar, that much Sugawara can tell. It’s like he’s seen him before, but it’s not like he goes people-watching all that much, so how?

It hits him like a ton of bricks, and he throws himself back underwater, and swims back home at lightspeed.

After managing back into his cave-like home, he digs through the bountiful pile of trinkets he collected from wrecked ships, trying to dig for the first that started it all, the obsession that was quite literally overflowing his home.

He digs until the pendant that started it all lies in his hand, and he flips it open, as if for confirmation.

The face may have aged, and it’s not like he saw the woman from the locket anywhere on that beach, but the man he’d seen hunting driftwood was most certainly the same as the one in the photo.

~

Suga likes to pretend he’s stealthy, but the amount of times he’s almost been caught are astounding. No wonder he was such a bad hunter and Daichi never complained when he decided to stay home.

He’s done this the last few days--watching that man from the locket. Or, well, stalking.

He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, really. But curiosity always got the best of him, especially when it came to humans. There was no goal at hand, but he was just watching, for the moment.

It sounded better than doing his regular routine--sleeping, hunting, and suntanning in the shallows until Daichi tracked him down and scolded him. This was refreshing, even if he didn’t know exactly why he was doing it other than bleak curiosity from seeing one up close.

Maybe he just felt like compelled to do it. It was the man in the photo of a locket he found at sea, and that was a little more than interesting to him. He didn’t exactly think the man was dead--even if his boat _had_ sunk to the seafloor, but he never figured he would see the man with his own eyes in this lifetime. 

The man sits there, just below the docks and watches the man assemble a fishing rod, before casting the hook off into the water, patiently waiting for a bite.

Suga’s so into the moment, watching the man’s face intently, then looking back down to the pendant in his hands and comparing images--that the slightest brush of a minnow brushing by his tail makes him gasp, dropping the locket with a plop into the water.

And the man’s eyes are on him, now.

 _I really shouldn’t have come,_ is all he has time to think before the man is standing, taking a solid look at him before asking, “Hello. Are you okay, over there?”

It’s all that he catches before he’s diving back down before the man realises what he was talking to wasn’t a local, friendly human just curiously watching him.

Suga takes a strange route, mostly swimming out of fear, heart thumping wildly, when he ends up in a small, oasis like enclosure and catches his breath.

Its close to land, but it’ll serve as protection for a moment, while he catches his breath. He hadn’t seen anyone but that old man, but he can only hope the other will forget what he saw, or take it as a hallucination from inhaling too much salty air. If he saw his tail, that is. Otherwise he hopes that the man doesn’t start looking for the man, or sending out search parties to find a missing boy that isn’t really a boy--

He takes a deep breath. Slides back against the sandy oasis wall, onto the shallow ocean floor and taking lungfuls of saltwater to remain calm.

When he calms down, he realises he had dropped the locket, and out of panic never bothered to pick it up.

“Well this sucks,” He mutters to himself.

He really couldn’t come back.

~

He comes back.

A stupid decision, really. But here he is, clutching the algae crusted pillar to the docks, trying to see where he dropped the pendant from a week ago.

A week was a safe amount of time, right? Right. _Probably._.

Either way, the pendant seemed to be missing. He should have expected as much when he dropped it in shallow waters of a boating dock, where the waters were clear and easy to see straight to the bottom.

It’s not like he saw many people around this beach, but someone most likely did. Possibly the old man, even.

He sighs, and wrings his hands together, clutching the slippery pillar with his claws.

 _This sucks._ he thinks, for the seventieth time that day.

He’s about to leave, about to ever come back to this place and pout for a solid week because _it was super cool, and I lost it,_ when he hears footsteps just behind him, on the dock above him.

“Back again?” The man asks, and Suga’s blood freezes cold in his veins.

He was talking to Suga.

The man was talking. To _him._

He turns around quickly, eyes large and trying to mimic a human smile. They smiled the same, right? But it was so, so obvious what he was, it’s not like he could hide it behind a smile of all things! He had translucent skin from lack of sun! Sharper pupils, finned ears, scales along his arms, a tail--!

“Y-yeah!” He manages out in Japanese with a laugh. He hasn’t spoken another language in a long, long time. “I have to go though, so I’m sorry but I’ll be seeing you--” _or hopefully not,_ he thinks,already turning to dive back down.

Except the man only quirks a grey brow, and smiles lightly. “Ah, I see.” He fiddles for something in his pocket, and the blood spikes in Suga’s veins.

What was he looking for? A knife? Some kind of torture weapon? He needs to get out of here Daichi’s concerns were right all along, and he was stupid for coming out here. The night Hayato was captured flashes behind his eyes, and wonders if this is how a human got close enough to him--with simple conversation, a smile--

He pulls out the pendant from his jacket, dangling it by the chain, still smiling. 

“You’re the one that found this for me, right?”

He pauses, processing the question. He’s a little less cautious after that, almost pushing himself forward, up to the dock. “I-I mean I dropped it by accident…” He thinks back shamefully. He would be a terrible criminal. He’d probably leave evidence everywhere, if he couldn’t even manage to remember to go back for a locket when spooked by a fish smaller than his thumb.

“Thank you,” the man says, sitting down on the dock, legs dangling over the edge. “Really. This meant a lot to me, and I never thought I’d see it again.” 

Suga blinks. He can tell the man is being honest from the way his voice softens alone, and the way he feathers his fingers along the pendant edge, a nostalgic smile pulling at his cheeks. Suga doesn't even mind how close they are now. He was having a conversation with a real human!

“I, um. Thought you were the man in the picture, so I was curious…” He trails off, a little shy. “How did you lose it, anyway?” How was he keeping a solid sentence without stuttering, he doesn’t know.

This was the most terrifying conversation in his life.

“Fishing accident on a stormy night,” He frowns. “I shouldn’t have went out, and my wife scolded me harshly when she found out I was alright. I didn’t mean to frighten her, but I lost everything that night. I was lucky to come out alive, as it was.” His voice is grim, and he shakes his head. “That was years ago. Despite having most of my money on that ship, the only thing I really regretted was losing this. It was a present from her.” 

His smile is back, if not a little sad. “I truly thank you for bringing this back.”

It occurs to Suga with a heavy heart that this man's’ wife was dead maybe for some time based on the rueful but thankful smile on his face while he looks on at the charm in his hands. 

He wasn’t some kind of mind-reader, but the expression on his face, his words--they confirm it enough for him. That was probably something very important from her.

“It’s no problem,” He replies softly. _I really need to get back home, though._ It’s not much of a stretch to say Daichi would probably kill him when he came back past sunset, his usual returning time.

“I mean it. Anything you need? You really did a lot for me.” Coughing lightly, he adds with a smile, “I’m sorry--how rude could I get? My name is Ichirou Hinata. What’s--Do you have a name?”

He’s being polite, but Suga knows he’s seen his tail flickering back in forth in the water by now. Suga Shouldn’t be here--should have come at all but curiosity got the best of him, and he should just swim back to Daichi, tell him he lied, and never come back to this place--pretend it never happened, and stay far away from people of the surface for the rest of his life.

Instead, he replies with shaky lips and a dry tongue from the surface air coating his lungs.

“Sugawara--My name is Sugawara Koushi.”

~

He meets with the man regularly across the time of a few months, though he likes to keep it out of the open, so he told Hinata-san to meet him in the little oasis he stumbled across the other week, when he was on the run. Maybe then he’d feel a little more secure--surrounded by trees and such. That was Daichi might not find them either, if he bothered to come out this far. He probably didn’t have a clue where Suga went in his time away, anyway. Hopefully he’d stay ignorant to the entire situation.

The worst part is, he only gets pulled deeper into the world of humans when talking to Hinata-san, curiosity stretching to even farther places. It sounds freeing, being up in the surface, and he feels guilty wanting to have feet of his own, after several meetings with Hinata-san.

He feels like he’s betraying Daichi.

He stays only until the sun sets each time, and he comes early some morning, learning of different things from Hinata-san, of his family, and how he’s been alone on this beach for years, and it’s been nice to have someone to talk to.

Suga feels bad for thinking that this man could’ve been out to kill him, when they first met. That all humans only had murderous intent.

He only wishes he could convey that to Daichi.

“Is there a way for mermen to turn human?” Hinata-san asks one day, breaking Suga from his thoughts.

“...Why do you ask?” he replies eventually, a little confused with the change in topic.

“This isn’t based on proof or anything, which is why i’m asking, but most humans have the idea that mermaids--or mermen--could turn human in order to seduce humans. Is that true?”

Suga ponders it. “I’ve never seen any other of my species grow legs with my own eyes, but we can, yes. Most choose not to, though.” He’s only _heard_ of some sprouting legs, abandoning their scales to live as a human being. He’d never try it himself. Maybe. He never really thought about it before this but it brings a few crazy thoughts to mind. 

He didn’t want to leave Daichi or the others though, so he shakes the thought off as best he can.

“If we did decide to grow legs, it wouldn’t be as easy now, though. We’re afraid of getting caught, with the human population as large as it is.” 

Hinata-san nods. “There would be problems with that, I guess. But if you’re so curious, why don’t you see everything for yourself instead of just asking me about the world?”

Sugawara freezes a bit at the question, because _he couldn't_ \--but really, could he? Would Daichi ever forgive him if he tried something like that? He doesn’t really think so. He pushes the thought aside for now.

He gives Hinata-san a smile, but it probably doesn’t come out as happy as he tries to make it seem. “It’s... probably best if I don’t. For a lot of reasons.”

Hinata-san waes him off. “You don’t have to tell me. Just something to think about, you know?”

Suga tilts his head in confusion.

Hinata-san continues. “I was serious about owing you a favour. If you _do_ ever want to explore the human world, I’d be glad to show you around. I have plenty of room in my house for guests, and you could stay as long as you like.”

It’s quiet after that, Suga lost in thought. It was a lot to take in.

He leaves when the sun starts to bleed red behind the horizon, taking it as cue to get going. He was getting hungry, anyway, and Daichi would start to suspect if kept coming back so late.

~

He makes sure he starts dedicating more time to Daichi. They were best friends, and yet he was the one who was never around. And he knew Daichi was too kind to _ask_ for his time. He always waited around until Suga invited himself to hang out, figuring Suga was somehow too busy to hang with him, or just in order not to bother him. 

So he casually swims into Daichi’s home one day, interrupting him during weapon carving, and throws his knife--that he was currently shaping-- to the ground.

Daichi raises a brow. “I was using that.”

Suga laughs. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on staying indoors on a day like today? It’s gorgeous out, we’re going hunting together.”

Daichi looks to the side, obviously trying to find a way to turn Suga down nicely. “I’m a bit busy making weapons for the younger members of the pod who can’t make--”

“Think of all the fish, Daichi.” He lays his hand on Daichi’s hand, eyes starry. “The _fish_ ” 

Daichi rolls his eyes. “That’s not going to convince me.”

“What about if I told you I _really, REALLY_ wanted you to join me? Would you still turn me down? You know how bad I am at sneaking up on prey, Daichi, do you want me to starve?”

“...Fine.”

“Yes--!” _Always a sucker for lending a helping hand,_ he thinks happily. 

“If,” Daichi continues, eyes hard. “You help me carve weapons once we eat.”

“Promise!” Suga cheers, smiling widely.

As if on cue, Daichi’s stomach rumbles. Suga only laughs as they depart.

~

They manage to catch more than a few measly fish, and Daichi, for the first time in who knows how long--offers that they sit above waters to eat their meal. Suga gives him a megawatt smile, and nods quickly, before he could possibly change his mind. They go the surface together, and pick a loud cliff base, with waves splashing up against the sides in a wild manner and plenty of rocks below to lounge across. It’s perfect.

They talk about small things for the longest time, before Daichi starts laughing. Suga lifts a brow, question on his lips, but Daichi speaks first.

“It’s nice. Hanging out like this, y’know? I haven’t seen you much at all lately.”

Suga gulps. He’s glad he decided to do this, but he really should have decided to do this sooner. “That’s probably my fault, I’m sorry.”

Daichi shakes his head, a light blush on his cheeks. “Nah, it’s okay. You have a life of your own, things to do. I’m just glad when we’re still hanging out like this sometimes.” 

Suga wanted to groan. Why was Daichi such a sap? And he called _him_ bad, geez. 

Instead, he pulls Daichi close by the arm, and gives him a hug, the water splashing loudly behind them, coating their backs in salty spray of the ocean.

 _Tomorrow,_ he thinks. _I’ll tell him tomorrow._

~

He doesn’t really know what to classify his relationship with Daichi as.

They grew up together, sure, but he doesn’t know if he would just label them as “friends”. He certainly was a good friend to Suga--but they’ve been so close all their lives, he doesn’t know if “just friends” was a label that fit them anymore. He wouldn’t say they were dating, but well--they weren’t just friends. Something in-between. Something important, that’s for sure.

If you asked him, he’d say they were dancing around the subject for a couple years now.

Regardless, Suga asks for a date from Daichi, the next night. Daichi drops his current activities, and stutters a ‘yes’ out in agreement, neck and cheeks covered in red. It’s pretty cute, and Suga should really ask him out on dates more if it got him to drop weaponry-designing as fast at it did then.

. Tonight was the night he was going to tell Daichi about what he’s been thinking about, and he wanted him in a good mood. That way he might not be _that_ opposed to it.

~

“So you told me we were going out, but where exactly are we heading?”

“You’ll see,” Suga hums, swimming only a little faster, tugging Daichi by the hand.

Their destination was a bit far out, but Suga knew Daichi would like it once they got there. Towing Daichi around was fun--the guy almost never let loose, and it’s nice to get away from their pod for a while, away from duties and hunting duty. He had more free time than Daichi, of course, but now was the time he’d put it to good use, and show Daichi a place he found a while back.

“Almost there,” He murmurs, taking another turn into deeper, murkier abyss. It still wasn’t that deep, but he’s surprised he found this place at all, actually. It was one of his bigger secrets, but it wasn’t as dangerous as talking to the humans, so it was probably fine. Daichi would like it.

He turns a sharp turn down into an opening in the coral reef, and swimming right back up into it, a tunnel leading up toward the surface.

He drops Daichi’s hand as he breathes in air from the surface, slightly humid as it was inside a cave like structure.

The Sunlight poured in through small holes in the surface, but otherwise was relatively dark, and definitely secluded from the rest of the world. It was probably the only way he’d get Daichi to sit with him above land, honestly.

“How on earth did you find this place?” Daichi asked, awestruck and looking at their surroundings, taking them in as he pulled up closer on the shallows where Suga was sitting, on the grainy sand just above the water.

“It’s neat, right?” Suga smiles, glad for Daichi’s reaction. The date would have been off to a bad start if he didn’t even like the place Suga picked to host it. “I found it in my travels--you should come with me sometime, don’t you think?”

Daichi shakes his head, but smiles. “I think that’s more your thing, Suga. But this place is…” He trails off, turning for one more look around, searching for the words. “Amazing. Is this where you hide out?”

Nervous sweat prickles at the back of Suga’s neck when asked that, and on instinct, he just smiles and nods. “Yup! Sometimes, anyway.” _Sometimes it’s a place a lot farther,_ he thinks. There’s a guilty reminder somewhere in his mind that Hinata-san might even be waiting for him, now.

“I can see why.”

“You can come here whenever you want, Daichi. It’s relaxing, right? Or--! We can have night to ourselves away from everything else--Just, you, me, and the stars. How about that?”

Daichi’s face is a pleasant shade of red, and Suga realises his words could be taken other ways. But, well, it’s fine, wasn’t it?

Daichi laid down on the cold sand, untouched by the sun, and Suga lied next to him.

At first, they talked about lots of things that didn’t really make it feel like a date. The weather, when they should move around again--that kind of stuff. But mid-way through Daichi’s lecture on where they should head next, Suga grasps his hand in the sand beside them. Daichi pauses mid-sentence, and stares.

“...What is it?”

“Do you ever let Kiyoko worry about that stuff? It seems like that’s all you seem to think about, lately.” He sighs. 

“Well, it is my responsibility.” He blinks, as if it’s obvious. He still hasn’t taken his hand away.

“You need to relax. I took you out here so we could get _away_ from those kind of things for a while.” He smiles fondly. “You think too much. Not to mention--” He swallows, hopefully not too audibly. “I wanted to talk to you about something else tonight.”

Daichi tilts his head, thoughtful. “Well, it’s easier said than done to forget my priorities, but I am glad you stole me away for a while.” He smiles, childish and sweet, and Suga has a hard time breathing. “So what did you want to talk about?”

 _well, here goes nothing._

“Do you ever think about.. _him_ , sometimes?”

The question jolts Daichi next to him, who now looks a little pale when he replies, “What is this about, Suga?” There’s a clear question in his eyes, and the hand in his is gripping his a little looser. 

Suga knows he’s not the most subtle, but that reaction alone brings a sad smile to his face. He wishes he could help Daichi somehow--like how Daichi always helps him. But Daichi’s been so closed off, wrapped up the thoughts of that time, he’s sure, and Suga wishes he’d just… share what’s on his mind, or something.

“I mean,” Suga sighs, sitting up. “Is this why you’re so…” He vaguely gestures with his hands, ignoring Daichi’s raising eyebrow. “ _You know_. About humans.”

“Are you asking if I’m still mad at humans because of Hayato’s death?” Suga swallows. “Because, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Suga sighs. “I didn’t mean it to sound like _that_ , I just want to know how you’re doing.”

“Then ask that next time,” Daichi snorts. “I’m… okay. I miss him a lot.”

“Of course you do,” Suga says, and hates that stupid pinprick of jealousy pulling at him everytime the name is brought up. It’s stupid, but he’s always felt… a little jealous of him. Even when they were kids, they were always together, and Suga wonders if ever just something to fill that gap, even if he knows it’s not true. 

_Stop it,_ he thinks to himself, trying to get back on track.

“I just want to know how you are. You don’t--” he searches for the words. “--Really talk to me anymore. About that. I never know what you’re thinking these days.”

He’s fumbling for words again. Where did he want to go with this, really? His intention had been to bring up how he was feeling, to know if he really opposed humans that much anymore--but he feels like he already knew the answer, all along.

Daichi probably wouldn't like the idea, after all.

“I’m okay, I guess. it’s easier to bear with now then it was back then.” He nods steadily, seemingly uncomfortable with where the conversation topic has gone. It’s enough for suga.

He tries to push that dumb feelings aside, and instead puts his hand on Daichi’s arm again, sinking into that comfortable conversation they had moments ago, with a different subject.

“Nevermind, Daichi.” He smiles. “I’m sorry I asked. Tell me more about where you think we should head this winter.”

 _It could wait,_ he thinks with a nod, pushing it off a little while longer.

They talk about oceans again for a while,, even though Suga doesnt really feel as excited to move as Daichi does. He bites his tongue though, and appreciates the warm, relaxed smile Daichi has at the moment.

It occurs to Suga, half-way through their (sort of?) date that Daichi probably doesn’t think of this much of a date, based on the things they talked about.

When it starts to get late and they talk of heading back, Suga hands him the necklace he made, an inky black clamshell tied with twine--One he found recently, close to the reef with the sunken ship--before giving him a quick kiss to the cheek, and diving back into the deep to conceal the heat on his face with cool water before Daichi could see.

~

After their date (If it could officially be called that, but Suga likes to think it could be called one) Daichi had seemed to get the message, and weirdly enough, actually pushed some of his duties aside to spend more time with Suga--which entailed a lot of hand holding, hugs when they parted, and brief kisses to the cheek and lips--even a twining of tails for a quick moment, before they both became too embarrassed.

It was great--and why on earth did Suga not end their hangouts with kisses before this? He could have stolen so much more of Daichi’s time this way. It was nice.Better than nice.

Which is why it scares him, when he realises he still hasn't told Daichi that he wants to leave, yet.

Now there’s even more problems on his shoulders, considering it looks like he could have just unknowingly entered a relationship with Daichi, and he didn’t exactly want to bring up the idea of leaving his side--he loved the way this way going, the attention and the certainly mutual feelings--but he knows had to bring it up at some point.

Unfortunately with all the pressure building up, he ends up blurting the words out one night, when they just came back from a hunting date that lead to a lot of kissing just passed the kelp forests near home.

“I’ve been talking to a human.” He breaks off of a kiss and says, separating from Daichi and muttering it with a gasp.

Confusion pours out across Daichi’s features, obviously still in a heated mindset of the nice moment they were sharing as he stares at Suga’s lips. “What?”

“I’m thinking about heading to the surface for a while.” Suga blurts in one quick sentence, the words bubbling out like a waterfall from being held on the tip of his tongue for the last few weeks.

He didn’t really mean to tell him like _this_ , though. He feels himself redden, feels the air leave him.

_Shit._

“You’re--you ca--- _what_?” Daichi asks, incredulous, red in the face as he stares at Suga, backing up to put a bit of distance between them, eyeing Suga warily. “Tell me you’re joking, please.”

Suga shakes his head, biting his lip. If he was going to do it now, might as well be out with it, then. “I’m not. I wasn’t planning on leaving for long or anything--and I definitely didn’t think you’d take it well, anyway. But I didn’t mean to let it out like this-- I was supposed to tell you a different way.”

“You really want to go be with _them_?”

Suga frowns. _It’s not like I’m picking a side._ he thinks. “I only wanted to explore a bit, and I’d come back. The human I met, he offered to show me around for a while. It’d be the opportunity of a lifetime, Daichi.” He frowns. The pouty face probably wouldn’t work this time, though. 

“You never come back from something like that, Suga! Whenever our kind go to land, we die! The things you think you’re seeing in them--what you’re so interested in--it’s not real! They’ll kill you if you go out there! Don’t be an idiot!”

Suga feels a slight heat brush across his skin, like a quick shiver of anger forming. _an idiot?_ That’s what Daichi thought when he saw Suga, curious about humans?

He takes in a quick breath, trying to calm himself before he said anything he’d regret. Of course Daichi would be angry. Who wouldn't, after he’s saying he’d be leaving him? They were literally just having a makeout session and he told him he was thinking about going away. But Daichi’s never called him an idiot before--not with a hatred like that on his tongue. Questioned his choices, maybe, but the way he said it was… hurtful.

“What happened to seeing the world through my eyes, like you said before?” 

Daichi looks at him, clamping his mouth shut for a moment while he seems to realize what he’d said, the regret already filling his eyes. “I do! Want to see it your way, I mean, But--” He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “I don’t want to go up there--I don’t want _you_ to go up there, either! It’s suicide! Why is looking from here not enough for you?”

“The human I met is nice, Daichi. He won’t hurt me, and do you really think I couldn’t fight back if he tried? I can handle this fine.”

“It’s not about you being able to _handle it_ , it’s about them,” He frowns, hands gripping uselessly at his sides. He bites his lip, hard. “Do you really trust some stranger you met more than me? I’m just trying to look out for you, you know.”

“You’re not my mother,” Suga retorts, “And don’t try to hold something like that against me--trusting him more than you. Because you know that I trust you more than anything.”

“What can I say to convince you?” Daichi mutters uselessly. “I don’t like them, never have--I don’t want to lose you to them.”

“You wouldn’t be losing me. I already told you I just wanted to try the experience for myself.”

Taking this one step further, he continues. “You have to stop blaming them for everything, Daichi. There’s bad humans out there, but there’s good ones too, and you can’t just accuse them all of being terrible because of what happened to Hayato!”

He feels terrible the moment the words leave his lips, and clutches a palm over his mouth. He said it himself a long time ago, didn’t he? That it was easier to just blame the humans--it was their fault. But he wasn’t happy seeing Daichi hold such an anger--a fiery rage when he looked at them. But Suga didn’t really need to say _that_ to him. He opens his mouth to apologize for what he said--Hewas in the wrong here, anyway, wasn’t he? He was being unfair to Daichi, selfish even. But Daichi speaks first.

“Even without Hayato being killed, I would have still hated them. They don’t change--and you don’t see that. You’re being tricked here.” Daichi says through gritted teeth, clenching and unclenching his fists. Suga flinches. An even quieter, Daichi adds, “Hayato would have stayed if I asked him, no questions asked.”

Suga has no words to say to that, but it doesn’t seem Daichi does either for the longest time. His cheeks are red and angry, and Suga just wishes he never made eye contact with that human that day. He made Daichi feel terrible, brought up bad memories and seemingly defended Hayato’s killers, in Daichi’s eyes--even if that’s not what it was to him.

Besides that, he feels the sadness consume him at what he had feared all along; Daichi did wish Hayato was here instead of him, after all, didn’t he?

Tears prick his vision, wiped away by the sea water.

There’s another long pause before Daichi speaks again.

“Fine. You can go. You have my permission, if that’s what you wanted.” He spits, lips in a tight line. He floats back away, away, _away_ from Suga. There’s no emotion on his face other than raw anger, and some stoicism with the way he’s speaking to Suga. He’s _never_ spoken to Suga like this before.

“But if you go, don’t bother coming back.”

He turns abruptly, swimming as fast as he can from Suga.

Suga’s reaction is delayed--a few moments behind. He doesn’t really know what just happened, but it hurts, and he feels like there’s rocks in his chest, pulling him down into the abyss below.

He watches Daichi leave, mouth and lungs filled with seaweed, or something--it’s blocking his voice, anyway. Something that he can’t talk though; leaving him unable to reply or call him back. 

He knows it was _his_ fault this happened, bringing it up in the first place--a hurtful subject for Daichi. But of all the things he expected Daichi to say in return... Telling him to leave, to never come back--those weren’t on the list.

Despite his will to just be angry at the other, his vision is blurry, and his cheeks feel hot. He realises he’s crying after a thick sob, and covers his mouth and eyes with his hands.

Daichi had been with him through everything--thick and thin. It was just words, (Probably said out of anger, and heat of the moment, at that) but he can’t help the pain that surges through him, thinking about what he could do from here. It feels like half of his heart was ripped out. Half of it was, really. Daichi hated him, and wished it was Hayato here instead.

He doesn’t follow Daichi. He turns the opposite way, and swims into the open blue until his tail is sore, and he’s long gone from anywhere he recognizes. He hopes nobody would find him, if only for a while.

He doesn’t return home that night.

~

Kiyoko finds him the next day, curled up in a seafloor crevice, eyes still red and swollen. She wakes him up urgently, and he has an apology ready on his tongue, but she’s hearing none of it, and goes straight in for a hug.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” She says, breathless. It’s the first time he’s really heard her emotions come out in her voice. She must’ve been really worried. He doesn’t really know if he’d call his current state _okay_ , but he feels a little better, even seeing Kiyoko now, holding her close.

It occurs to him then, that he never returned last night, and even if Daichi didn’t care, he still had friends in the pod who were worried sick. Kiyoko and a few others’ were probably out looking for him, for a while.

What had Daichi done after their fight? Did he simply pretend it never happened, and went on with his duties, or was he the reason Kiyoko had come looking for him? Did Kiyoko even know what happened between them?

He opens his mouth to try apologizing again, but Kiyoko cuts him off first.

“I’m sorry,” She says, tears obvious in her shaky voice, and that says it all for him. He feels his own eyes get hot again,tears quickly swept away with the current.

“Yeah,” he nods, unable to say anything else, and clutches her tighter. “Me too.”

~  
He doesn’t come home, but Kiyoko tells him she’ll tell everyone he’s okay. He just wanted to be alone for a while. He thanks her, and she leaves.

When she’s long gone, he finally leaves that crevice in the seafloor. He knows what he wants to do next, but he doesn’t know if he really should. Daichi may have wanted to apologize to him, maybe. Or not. He was probably getting ahead of himself here, swimming towards the oasis at a snail's pace.

But was Daichi even his friend anymore? His _anything_? 

Daichi wasn’t the one who looked for him, not the one who found him. Kiyoko said nothing about it herself, and that was pretty much enough for him to fill in the rest of the pieces.

When he arrived at the oasis, Hinata-san was already there, putting together a fishing rod, and smiles warmly at Suga with a quick wave.

Suga attempts to smile back, but it feels more like a quick curve of the lip before he’s frowning once again. Hinata-san catches on, frowning then as well.

“...Sugawara-san, what’s wrong--?”

“Were you serious about letting me live with you, up on land?”

There’s a long pause between the two of them, and then Hinata-san makes the first move, putting the creaky old rod down beside him.

“Yes,” he replies. “Did you want to explore the human world for yourself, maybe?”

Suga smiles back, a little brighter this time, trying to be happy instead of thinking about Daichi for a moment. For now, an escape is what he needs. But now he doesn’t really know if that’s what he’s supposed to do, but it’s all he’s got. And he’s not ready to see Daichi--to face him, and be ignored. 

“If that’s alright with you, then yes.”

Hinata-san was smart, and by now could probably see there was clearly another reasn Suga wanted to get away so badly, but nods in understanding.

“Alright then. When do you want to go?”

~  
“You really don’t have to do this,” Kiyoko says to him in a whisper, the day of his departure. 

He looks to her and shakes his head. “I want to do this.” And he wasn’t lying. Kiyoko probably thinks the only reason he’s leaving is because of Daichi, but the only reason this happened in the first place was because he brought this crazy idea up, and now there wasn’t really turning back now.

He didn’t really have anything to turn back _to_.

He’s gripping his measly package of belongings, a bunch of old things that he could probably sell for a pretty penny, and looking towards the surface. The unknown. It’s kind of scary, but he knows he wants to do it.

It’s just then, when he’s hesitating to move, that he hears others swim up to them, and knows for a fact it’s Asahi, but--

“Daichi’s here,” Kiyoko whispers to him, touching his shoulder lightly. She’s giving him the option to go now or turn and face this, he knows.

He turns around hesitantly, eyeing Daichi up and down. To put it bluntly, that’s probably the worst he’s looked, in Suga’s eyes. Heavy eye bags, paler complexion, and he looked hunched over, in Suga’s opinion. He wasn’t meeting Suga’s eyes, either, which also sucked. He’s definitely looked better though.

At long last, Daichi’s eyes finally meet his, slowly pulling up from the seafloor, and it takes a lot to keep a straight face. Daichi looks sad, angry, stern, and longing all at once--but he’s not saying anything, so neither is suga. 

He figures out quickly enough that Daichi won’t say anything at all. He came to see him off, after all. Probably to see if he’d actually do it.

Suga gives him a small smile, a sad one, and turns around, probably to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. He blinks before turning, a silent goodbye.

_This was really happening, huh._

He turns toward land, waiting for Daichi to call him back, say his name, even though he doesn’t realise it at first that _that’s_ what’s holding him back. It’d only take a word, he thinks. One word, and he’d change his mind now, take it all back if it meant Daichi would forgive him, speak to him again, maybe. 

But Daichi doesn’t say anything. 

He moves forward.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is part one of the Daisuga companion fic and I'm so excited to finally have this out omg  
> I didn't like how it turned out that much TBH?? I probably could have edited this better, and I'm no good at argument scenes BUT ITS FINALLY DONE (halfway) lmao   
> Also the title is of the song 'ocean eyes' by Billie Eilish 
> 
> Before I post the next part, I might work on the fantasy au I was writing, but I hope you enjoy this <33 sorry for such a long wait omg
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated they rlly make my day!! See u guys >:))


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